Where does jealousy come from? No seriously, does it manifest through time or is it an instant feeling? I ask because I know a man who is jealous of oxygen, if you inhale it instead of him, he thinks your cheating. Lol. Yet I also know another guy who would literally drop me off on date and pick me up if I needed it yet he has feelings for me. I dont get it.
I used to be a crazy jealous person but I also had a cheating boyfriend so I like to think that gave me a temporary pass lol. In reality it never gave me justifaction. Besides when I started dating a really saved man...jealousy had to go out the window because my feelings couldnt stop him from ministry. You will be surprised at how many women want a Christian man. I surely was because I know when I wasnt saved, I wanted a bad boy, but I guess times have changed lol. Anyway so with the help of the Lord I overcame jealousy one incident at a time. I just learned to trust God and not people lol. If I need to know something, God will reveal it to me or lead me to it.
So since I been through years and I mean years of jealous insecurity and overcame it....I was disgusted with myself the other day when I saw a girl and instantly became "uneasy." I had to back track for a minute and say what the heck! Where did this come from? This woman is going on with her life and doesnt even know I exsist but Im BLOGGING ABOUT HER!!!!! lol. No seriously I hate that feeling so I started to confront myself. What just happened Jackie? And I hate it when women ask "Do you think she is pretty?" Thats dumb. Someone should not have to be "ugly" in order for you to feel beautiful. So that cant be it. I examined myself and realized that I was jealous of her because she reminded me of someone....ME! What kind of junk is that? This woman reminded me of myself. The fear that if she reminded me of me then perhaps she could actually replace me. Here's the thing ladies and gentlemen...I have never uttered a holy (or unholy) word to her and I see hundreds of women every day, chances are I may never see her again....so what makes me think this woman is in any way similar to me? The answer is simple...it makes no sense.
Jealousy is a spiritual weapon used to make you feel inferior and replaceable. The truth is, there can never be another me. There may be a couple people who look like me (Shout out to my sisters...silent wave to my brother) but there is only one Jackie. There is something special about each and everyone of us and no one can ever take that away. We mean so much to others in ways we may never know so how can anyone ever replace you? It is not about your outfit or your sense of humor, its not about who is permiscuous or whose hair is longer, its not about who has more money or who has more friends....its about you! There is greatness within you! So when jealousy swings by you, take your time and confront yourself. Why am I jealous of this person? We are completely different people with completely different things to offer this world. Jealousy is really a waste of time...I have greatness to share :-) So Mystery lady this is my formal apology for hating on you and should we ever cross paths again, I promise to smack the devil and actually speak with you.
:-) I served notice to the devil....nice try...next!
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Psalm 139:14
NIV
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Also I made a promise that I cant keep because Im adding another character to the book :-) Sorry. Give me one more month. I guarantee you wont be disappointed.
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