For My Own Clarity

What is forgiveness? My favorite definition is from dictionary.com “[forgiveness is] to give up all claims on account of.” In other words, not to hold a situation or situations against someone. I recently experienced several levels of betrayal from various people which was revealed all at once….wow. After many years of the same situation, I have decided to no longer associate myself with those people. I am not taking any situation or various situations and holding it against them, I have simply realized that they are not nice people and in order to keep my sanity (and myself out of jail) I have to distance myself. But I bet if you asked them how they felt about my decision they would tell you that my isolation is an outward sign of my lack of forgiveness within, but who asked them Lol. In reality because they have caused me so much pain throughout the years and I had reached my hypocrite limit, if I did not distance myself from them it would be impossible for me, personally, to forgive them. So as they and whoever else would have their own perception of how I handled the situation only one opinion counted. I rather walk away from a relationship/friendship, than hurt someone else, no matter how badly they have treated me.

Sometimes I wish others would do the same. What is the point in saying that you have forgiven someone if you are going to use their actions against them? I was speaking to a not so old friend the other day and they shared with me that their significant other had cheated on them. “Should I stay or should I leave?” I gave the most honest answer that I could think of. It was not glamorous, it was not unrealistic like the women who say “that will never be me” until it happens to them, and it was straight up. If you can not forgive them for the act, and by forgive I mean you can not use their infidelity as a reason to spy on them like a hawk, or make their life a living hell by constantly bringing up the fact that they cheated on you as a defense for your temporary insanity, then yes you CAN stay with them. However if you can not honestly say that you see yourself coming to the point in your relationship where their phone will ring and you will not wonder if he/she is cheating on you again, then you SHOULD leave. Forgiveness is not about revenge or punishment. It is about letting go and sometimes when you let go of the situation you may also need to let go of the person.

I have come too far in life to let hatred hinder my progress. It takes so much energy to hold a grudge; meanwhile other people are going on with their lives and doing their own thing. Do not allow anyone or anything to change the kind of person you are. Let your life speak for you, forget about the rest of the chatter :-)


But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of that bread, and drink of that cup.
1 Corinthians 11:28

Side Note: I currently have 17 followers of my blog. My personal goal is to have at least 30 by June 1st 2011 :-) I cant do it without your help. Please invite at least one person to join the blog. The person who invites the most people will win a special prize :-) I love healthy competition.