I Cant Say That I'm Surprised

I heard a long time ago, not from an old wise person but from my best friend who heard it from wherever; "When someone shows you who they really are, believe them." Here are 3 different examples (Names have been altered for privacy purposes so even if you think you know, chances are your wrong)

1. I have a "friend" that I have known for about 4years now. We met under unusual circumstances through another friend and although she is no longer friends with the person who once introduced us, we maintained our friendship. We have cried on eachothers shoulders, we have counseled one another, and we have spent countless time together. As far as I was concerned everything was all good. So a couple months ago I created a blog. My very first blog. I actually began writing for about 1 month before I actually debuted the website, but when I did, the first people I told were my family and my friends. I created various groups to advertise the site and was doing the whole word of mouth thing. Its alot of work but the more support the better (By the way I am almost at 200 views and it has only been a month since I put this out there, thanks guys). Well this "friend" of mine has not joined any of the groups. They have never been on the website. In fact, ever since they found out that I am doing something productive with my time and I am no longer the unemployed underdog, I havent heard from them. So they showed me that they are not the least bit interested about my success, and I believe them.

2. I have a relative who I used to look up to. I wanted to be just like her. I thought she was so beautiful and she was always popular (in a positive way). She had a nice style, she was book smart and street smart and I really admired her. I took pride in being her *****. Somewhere along the way things went south. She never lost her beauty but she lost her character. She was no longer relateable. There came a point when her Mother got a divorce and went to stay with her for a little while to get away from her abusive husband and that was an absolute nightmare. She mis-used her mother and pushed her child off on her. For some reason she was under the impression that because you "needed" her, she could mistreat you. She began to isolate herself from the family, she would constantly try to kick her mother out of the house, knowing she had no where to go, and at one point she even made her child stop speaking to the grandmother and would spank them when they would obey something that the grandmother told them to do. One day she told her mother that all the abuse that she recieved in the hands of her husband, she deserved because thats the only way to deal with her. No this relative is not on drugs. They showed the family that they are selfish and evil, and it took some time but I believe them.

3. There was a guy named Ashton, whose present girlfriend was someone that my then boyfriend once dated. Ashton always insisted that they had no hard feelings about the past relationship, I always said I feel uncomfortable with the whole situation and did not want anything to do with it. (Sorry, your ex, and I cant skip down the hill while holding hands.) Both Ashton and my boyfriend knew how I felt. One day my ex boyfriend and I were invited to see a movie at Ashton's house. I was apprehensive so I tried to get into his head just to check the scene and was reassured that everything was fine. When we got to the house nothing appeared out of place until I was asked by Ashton to come into the kitchen and see what he was cooking for dinner, only to get in there and see his girlfriend standing in the kitchen. (Why is she here?) I put on my fake smile and made my way back out to my ex and told him that we had been set up. Appearently we were only there for Ashton to see how his girlfriend reacts to her ex-fling, I guess she was trying to prove to Ashton that she was over my ex boyfriend. They showed me that their sneaky and I believed them.

Sometimes we expect the people in our lives to behave a certain way and when they do not, we give them free passes to keep doing it again because thats my "friend", thats my "family", thats my "boyfriend" but what about who you are. I dont believe that we should try to get revenge on people and try to kill them when they clearly deserve to be, but I do think that we should believe people when they show their true colors. Know where to place people in your life. You dont have to cut off the person who you thought was your friend but doesnt rejoice in your well being, but at the same time, stop expecting them to be happy for you. Stop expecting someone who has made it clear that they have no intentions of being faithful to you, to be faithful to you. Beleive that if your significant other is verbally/physically abusing you, most likely that wont change. Believe them and know where to put them in your life. Do not allow people to walk all over you simply because they hold a certain personal title in your life. If you do, you are selling yourself short. I shared those incidents with you because I could easily cry over what my relative has become and be in denial, I could act like my ex boyfriends friend Ashton, made an honest mistake some how, and I could pretend that my friend has just been too busy to log on to my blog. But in reality I would be denying who they have shown me that they are. If you observe people you will see who they really are and people are watching you to see who you really are. Lets learn to build up eachother instead of "hating" on one another and breaking eachother down. There are many people who view this blog and I know exactly who is there simply to speculate and talk bad about me or to get in my business. I didnt have to take a survey, all I had to do was live a little while. Learn from your mistakes with people and when they react the way they have proven to be, then you too can reply "I cant say that Im surprised."



"Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them."

St. Matthews 7:20
KJV