When I Am Tired Of Waiting.......

Life is not perfect, neither is the life of a Christian. I still face obstacles, I cry sometimes, my feelings get hurt, money may be funny, people say bad things about me, my desires sometimes seem far away. These are my top four issues.

1. I need a good paying job. I want to be able to live beyond my needs and to just splurge a little, maybe do some investing and open up some businesses and not worry about being in the hole if I take a risk.

2. I want to get married. I love my boyfriend. He is more than the love of my life, he is also my best friend, he is one of my greatest motivators. When he looks at me he sees an author and business woman, when I look at him I see greatness. We work great together, we feed off of eachothers energy and creativity. He is spontaneous and exciting, funny and refreshing, loving and caring, he knows how to reach me, and how to say things that I dont want to hear but is neccessary for my growth. Everything that I have ever suffered with every man in my life, every tear that I shed, every part of me that went into hiding in fear of being hurt again, God has restored through him. Doesnt that sound like a very fulfilling relationship? So can you imagine how difficult it is for us to say goodnight to eachother and drive away from our seperate homes? I rather lay next to him at night. I want to see him every time I come home. The only thing holding us back, is our economic strong holds.

3. I want to have kids, while I still can. Look I am 26yrs old, lets face it, if you cant hear the biological clock, just look at the digital one on my wall. I have always wanted a big family. Of course everytime I watch someone elses child, that number drops but thats okay, I am currently looking to have 4 (stay tuned). I dont just want to have the children I want to be an active part of their lives so in other words, I intend to do my best to make sure they do not come into a world of 2 entrepenur parents with huge obligations to thier upcoming companies. We must have at least one of the companies for the most part established. I do not want a child in chaos. So do the math America, one successful business minus about 10yrs that I have left to concieve, divided by the 4 I want without having irish twins.........I should have started working on that today lol.

4. I want my dreams to become a reality. Thats pretty much self explanitory. By now if you do not know, my boyfriend and I only fit into the 9 to 5 career bracket in order to fund our projects, but overall lets just say we have big dreams.


If you pay close attention to these things, they all kind of go hand in hand. It all has to do with my idea of success. My idea of success is surrounded by a close knit family of my own, and financial and promotional growth in all my business projects. Not every woman is the same. I have a friend who would be fine without a great paying job, as long as she has a loving family of her own to come home to. I have another friend who would rather travel the world and share her greatness than to be bound down to a "typical" idea of what a woman "should" do at this point her life. I say that to say this, the list above are things that I think about every single day, it may not be at the top of your list, maybe just #3 of none at all either way in everything that we want, we must do it in the will of God.

How easy would it be to move in with my boyfriend, and start having children without being married (I am not casting judgement on those who have chosen to do this) but I have to stay saved. I have to do things the way God set out for them to be done because there are consequences for disobedience. God says no sex before marriage, alot of us have went against that, but how weird does it feel to be intimate with a guy/girl and get up, put on your clothes and leave. There is something about that which feels empty and wrong. How many times have people become emotionally wrapped up into something that ultimately does not last and walks away feeling used and like less of a person, or comes out with a child that has a dead beat for a father or a lunatic for a mother when all of that could have been avoided had you took the time to get to know the person and allowed God to reveal things to you about that person. What I am saying is, not having sex before marriage is difficult but it is not just rewarding in the sense of spiritual obedience, it saves you a whole lot of heartache and confusion.

We can not look for a quick fix to our problems. I rather wait for God to bless me. I rather let God lead me, and when I get there, I get there. He knows what I am asking for, like I said, I think about it daily. He knew what I wanted before I even knew that I wanted it. If God could prepare a good man for me, or a loyal friend (shout out to Sugar Foot), some good family members lol, then he can surely prepare me to be a good wife, a wonderful mother and a successful business woman.

When I am tired of waiting, I rest in the comfort of knowing that God has not forgotten me and what God has for me, is for me!