Today I was laughed at. It reminded me of a time in my life when that was my daily testimony, elementary school. You see I came to America from Haiti during the summer of 1989, I was 5yrs old. I began kindergarden that fall and spent the duration of that year learning how to speak, write and read in english. I remember feeling like an outcast in my class. I remember being lost and confused. In addition to a already difficult situation, I had health problems which required me to take about 12 pills a day at designated times. One of those hours was directly after lunch. My older sister would come to my class everyday, take me over to the water fountain and watch me take my medicine (God bless her :-).
By the time I got in the first grade I had already caught on to the english language and had few oral barriers from my peers, my health was stable but I was still required to drink my medication. Unfortunately the only medicine that kept me stable also had a side effect, weight gain. By the time I was in the third grade I began to be overweight. Now I was the "fat haitian girl" that was an easy target for my peers to poke fun at if they wanted to get more popular by being "funny." No one, was my friend. I got tired of being laughed at, the weight issue was new for me so I decided that I would secretly stop taking all the doses of medicine. Not long after that I got sick in school and had to be rushed to the hospital. I was admitted into the hospital for a few months and by the time I got back to school things got worse.
I finally got a break around the 5th grade when I did get a friend. She would not speak to me publically but she did call me at home and we hung out on some weekends. Although she never stood up for me or told anyone that we were friends, I still appreciated our relationship. The day that never shook my memory was one where I was in a reading group and one of the girls that picked on me the most was in the same group (lucky me). Everyone ususally talked, sometimes about the book, other times about their own personal stuff, I just remained quiet and waited for the slow agony to end (lol). On this particular day, that girl that always picked on me said something nice.
"Your pretty. You look very nice. Your a great person, and your sneakers are really cool."
I was overjoyed! Did I finally have a friend? My life as I knew it would never be the same.
"Thank you", I replied. Then suddenly everyone started laughing hysterically. "Its opposite day on Nickelodeon, did you really believe me?" As she carried on laughing with the other kids, I made up my mind in that moment that I would never let anyone make me feel like that ever again. I started having more fist fights, but as I got older and wiser, I started to block people out. I grew out of that stage, but I always kept a tight circle after that experience.
Well today, I went back to the 5th grade. Today, I was laughed at. Not because of my appearance (as fly as I am :-) but because of my circumstances. I had someone laugh at me because I am not as "wealthy" as they are. "Its only a matter of time before she fails", they said to someone near me. Suddenly that 5th grade feeling came back to me. See I realized why that situation was my last straw back when I was 9yrs old, and I realized why that persons statement hurt me so much today, it was because they both spoke to me/about me as if they were better than me. Their words screamed YOU ARE BENEATH ME! That little girl inside of me wanted to punch that person, but the grown woman I am knew that there would be nothing but jail time following that altercation.(lol) Besides, I already told you guys that I am not about to embarass God by acting a fool. Instead I remembered Abraham's wife, Sarah. I remembered in her old age when an angel came to Abraham and told him that his once barren wife would concieve a son, and Sarah over hearing this laughed (Genesis 18:10-12).
I thanked God for that revelation, because although Sarah laughed at the prophesy, she did indeed have a son. God's promise was fulfilled and the same woman who laughed at God was then acknowleding his power. God has made you some promises and people have laughed in your face, they have ridiculed you, but just like Sarah, God's promises will be fullfilled. The same people who laugh at you will have to swallow their laughter. They scandalize your name because they wish they were you. That person who was laughing at me and my finances could not do what I had done with all of their wealth. They laughed because that was all they could do to keep from crying and wondering why didnt I think of that. So now I am the one who gets to laugh because one thing God does is vindicate his people. "Vengence is mine saith the Lord." I decided since God can fix that person better than I ever can, I will let him deal with them, I'll wait :-).
You go girl
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